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2/8/2015 CliveAnders 5813 CliveAnders
4 stars [3 Votes, 4.17 Stars]
Latest Chat1/16/2019 5:48:45 PM EST
ChrisMoschetti: Fisted Sister reunion at the eiffel tower 4/15/19
Chat Now!
Latest Comment 4/1/2019 9:50:10 PM EST
Whisper Scream (take 3)
boygenuis: After listening to this on repeat a bunch, I think I can find a place for this in my collection.
Latest Backstage 2/2/2015 1:44:36 AM EST
Sold a Fool
ghengus23: great down dirty country rock feelin' from the start. Reminds me of social distortion. Not sure if...

11/6/2009

VAN HALEN II -  
Candy (Clipped version!)
Genre: Acoustic
Weighted Rating: [9 Votes, 3.77 Stars]
Views: 2,066
 | 
Liner Notes
alexhenley [11/27/2009 11:49:09 AM EST]
Score: +0
Rated 3.5 stars
I'm listening to your songs in reverse order and I'm liking them more as I get farther back in time.
HawaiianMcdoogle [11/21/2009 2:25:46 AM EST]
Score: +0
Rated 5 stars
gay like #@&%! baby
FilipinoJEW33 [11/13/2009 4:21:03 AM EST]
Score: +0
Rated 5 stars
great lyrics
unklespaz [11/8/2009 4:25:49 PM EST]
Score: +0
Rated 5 stars
dude, really you have a good handle on your craft, and I hear the parody in just about every tune.. probably every- really i think people will either dislike or like this sort of thing, depending on their taste or humor

that said: I think that you'll expand as you get deeper, but that's nothing i'd force

you could work more on the musicianship side, say expand songs, add more complexity, throw in some 9ths, 13ths, whatever but it's up to you, nothing wrong with your rage at the world in a ludicrous appropriate manner
damndog [11/8/2009 2:42:56 PM EST]
Score: +0
aint nothin wrong with a 3 chord song... that's my opinion, if it sounds good it sounds good
CoolFog [11/8/2009 12:50:07 PM EST]
Score: +0
Nice jacket do you have those riding pants as well....and the boots?
Ruud Slingerland [11/8/2009 5:38:50 AM EST]
Score: +0
Rated 4.5 stars
And the song stays great. Sorry, Chris
CoolFog [11/7/2009 11:24:05 PM EST]
Score: +0
Your talented but your attitude is the worst I have seen on here yet. I think many more people would like you if you said less and just did your music or at least had more tact.
pointy_hat_herman_ [11/7/2009 1:01:00 AM EST]
Score: +0
I make a constitution to the amendment that it takes an ass to make an ass
NathanWayne [11/6/2009 11:14:55 PM EST]
Score: +0
yea. but you could imagine almost anything being sung by dylan and it being good. like even something as meaningless as a christmas song... oh wait.
Mr. Bratty [11/6/2009 10:57:13 PM EST]
Score: +0
read the lyrics and imagine it being sung by bob dylan. kind of like "oxfordtown".
NathanWayne [11/6/2009 10:56:44 PM EST]
Score: +0
I dont hear much about beef.
IrREGULAR ELEPHAnT [11/6/2009 10:45:20 PM EST]
Score: +0
Its like when Ron Russel chastised us (me and my brother) for applauding what he referred to as a piss poor upshot at the US championship. Get it now?
conquistador [11/6/2009 10:42:34 PM EST]
Score: +0
yes im serious. ive read it several times and cant figure out what his beef is about.
unklespaz [11/6/2009 10:37:14 PM EST]
Score: +0
klippinator suggestions make me LAUGH OUT LOUD

this thread is getting hilarous
NathanWayne [11/6/2009 10:34:50 PM EST]
Score: +0
you really know how to talk #@&%! about yourself. there is an art to that but it doesn't mean, there isn't somebody that wants to see it.
IrREGULAR ELEPHAnT [11/6/2009 10:30:28 PM EST]
Score: +0
Rated 3.5 stars
What I take from the grown up comment is that before you post something, you make it as good as you can. It doesn't have to be any of those things you listed. It can be anything you do regardless of how trivial you may think the idea. This has good singing and great playing but the recording sucks. I don't think there is anyone who doesn't think you can do better. I think there is a fear for some people of trying their best, because what if their best sucks? Hiding behind crappy sounds is a gimmick. Really nice song though. I liked it. ONe of my own favorite songs only has two chords. Take your feature and lump it.
NathanWayne [11/6/2009 10:30:04 PM EST]
Score: +0
Rated 4.5 stars
this is great from start to finish. conq, thesis? are you serious, that last line is awesome, maybe thats the 'thesis'.
I just want to listen to this forever.
Mr. Bratty [11/6/2009 9:06:51 PM EST]
Score: +0
it's #@&%!ing clipping like hell!! you clip#@&%!! you need to go on craigslist and get you a used KLIPPINATOR for cheap or something.
please. do we really care about the clippage that much, people? some of our favorite #@&%! from the 80's was recorded in a basement with an out-of-tune guitar and a sanyo boombox (see: daniel johnston). the point is... #@&%! it i don't have a point.
conquistador [11/6/2009 8:56:29 PM EST]
Score: +0
i cant figure out what you are talking about dude.. whats your thesis in ten words or less?
pointy_hat_herman_ [11/6/2009 8:40:07 PM EST]
Score: +0
I stuck my honey stick in this song and all I got was ass man. I want my money back you jewish wanna be man. Go get you a man in the marines and be less gay. Thats what Mr. T says too.
unklespaz [11/6/2009 7:55:11 PM EST]
Score: +0
hey I tried to read through your post, but it's way too long. Geeze. Keep the music up and someone outside the inner circle may be nice enough to say something. One of the reasons I don't eval too much is because I'm so biased by friendships here. I'll try to give it some grit later, but it's hard to seriously eval you because you are such goofs. If it makes ya smile? Why complain.

I think you'll look back in 15 years and realize you and your crew are a bunch of badass bandmates. Don't worry about discretion, create and do all you can. Seriously. If you huger enough and try hard enough and keep booking shows you'll get plenty of harsh criticism from strangers and the music business. You got the mojo, keep it flowing you feller fudgetard.
Richie Isaacs [11/6/2009 7:26:10 PM EST]
Score: +0
Well said.
They're not dumb, or bad, or stupid, nor do I like or dislike them, this is a critique site and, like you and MOST folks do here, I critique as I see it, not a slight on your playing or creativity, just an evaluation as I see it, and evaluations are just opinions with an attitude.
I'm glad you're pissed off, means you're not gonna roll over and show your belly..saying 'grown-up song' was a bad call, maturity or age is irrelevant in music, as is gender, I just see this as needing 'more' and from hearing your playing ability it's in there for YOU to do as you see fit, take the input or not, it's as easy as that, I read the thread in the forum AFTER I listened to this (and I did not vote on it, I wasn't here) so was not biased by the thread, you have the skills, I just see that you can do more, as can all of us who play or write music.
Don't change what you do if you don't want to, and don't expect people to take yours (or anyones for that matter) advice or opinions on songs, we are all ultimately responsible for our own actions, or indeed inactions.
ChrisMoschetti [11/6/2009 6:57:52 PM EST]
Score: +0
alright well enough pretending to be nice I suppose.

well, i re read that, and although I am really really foolish and say way too many things mostly without thinking, I don't care. If by a grown up song you mean a slow boring 'americana' song, or a contrived electronic song, or a mellow folk song that we've all heard before and is the only thing that gets by around here than you can eat it. I dont care about tamborine or shaker or mandolin, i really dont. I don't care that you dolled up a c rate song with a fiddle and a mandolin and a cello or an electric keyboard. I feel like noone on this site strives for anything more than what they know how to do.

I don't know what to play and I just want to play everything all the time, and I get ideas and work hard on them, but becuase they are dumb to you i'm supposed to grow out of it. get #@&%!ed. Thats literally all i've been hearing since I joined this site and I don't appreciate it. I'm going my own way and though yes I do care what you have to say about it I resent the assumption that this has to do with age or maturity. I make choices with my #@&%!ing brain about what I do and do not want to be. Don't insult me because you have limited yourself to playing boring old man nobody gives a #@&%! county fair rock. ( I dont mean that but it serves as an example of how I feel you are treating me)


I appreciate the feature vote but I wish I hadn't spoken in the forum because it makes the whole thing a joke to me. Everyone loves this dumb song, all the people I play it for, but as music its candy and theres nothing to it but a message that we all already knew and felt comfortable with. it makes people giggle and feel better than someone or like they are in the know when we are all really ignorant. I don't wake up in the morning and look myself in the mirror and pretend like i know whats going on in the world or how to make things work but its every half intelligent persons favorite thing to do.

I resent this song, and I think that people that think its great because of the message think too much of themselves to be frank.

On top of that the vocals are distorting and there are only 3 chords in the song. I've written much better songs that are posted here but its not candy music and its not americana or some avante garde computer music so noone listens. Plenty of people elsewhere listen to my tunes and I come here for some input and all I get is 'grow up', 'your really talented but until you play the type of music i want to listen to you'll never be anything'.

whew, almost done

I get so much flattery around here for some reason, and I dont want it. I don't know how I've earned anyones respect being such an #@&%!, or why everyone seems to think I have so much potential and wants to stand up for me when noone (with exceptions) digs my music. I don't feel like I've earned your respect, I just feel like everyone here is trying to be as mature as possible to the point where this site is just stuffy and old and boring.


I'm gonna be coolin in the forums becuase we talk about other peoples music there and (and I stress this) really respect all of the musicians who I just insulted becuase outside of these irritating patterns everyone here is more than willing to share music and music knowledge with me, and there is a ridiculous wealth of musical insight to be had.

So go ahead fizzers, I know the deal.

Nitpick through what I wrote and show every in-congruence so that we may all act without emotion or feeling and just come to the most logical sterile and passive conclusion which is, after all, what good art and music is all about right!?
ChrisMoschetti [11/6/2009 6:06:23 PM EST]
Score: +0
:)
Richie Isaacs [11/6/2009 6:01:31 PM EST]
Score: +0
Rated 3.5 stars
It was featured because your peers voted it so, and because the other ones didn't make it thru it's not favouritism nor defending or voting "F" because they are a mate of yours.
Speaking for myself the songs you care for, the ones with the transparent and YES unfunny in-jokes aren't as cohesive as this one, it's played well, sung well and with a little more structure it well be a grown-up song..btw, never ask yourself an opinion on a song as the answer is either it sucks or it's the greatest song ever written (depending on the individual)
Take yer feature, quit yer bellyaching and keep striving towards something serious. you've got the skills now do it (and it was you, was it not, that said something along the lines of, but not in these exact words; 'we all have to improve our craft?)
Oh, work on dynamics on your playing dude, light and shade can go a long way.
tofu_the_cat_ [11/6/2009 4:12:08 PM EST]
Score: +0
you too handssome young man whatchoo fortune cookie say?
THENAKEDBEACH [11/6/2009 12:46:34 PM EST]
Score: +0
the sun hurts my eyes too
ChrisMoschetti [11/6/2009 12:26:18 PM EST]
Score: +0
Rated 1.5 stars
Yeah, I deserve it (not the feature)

Wasn't thinking this was going to get featured and figured it would be dismissed just for the vocal distortion alone.

I don't know why everyone likes the songs that I'm indifferent to and don't care about the songs I care about.

1.5 stars for the intro which i like.
conquistador [11/6/2009 11:07:18 AM EST]
Score: +0
oh i see. if you want a feature you should just bitch in the forums about how you'll never get a feature. Off to the forums....
just yankin' your crank bro.
Jasper Mcdoogle and his Blue Pants [posted during evaluation]
Score: +0
Awesome song. Great stuff you've been putting out lately.
MeatMachineII [posted during evaluation]
Score: +0
doesn't deserve a feature and I want my spot back in the rejects
Ruud Slingerland [posted during evaluation]
Score: +0
I saw yesterday night a few clips from Jeffrey Lewis on You Tube, this song reminds me a lot like him, he put the same kind of humor, energy into his songs. I dig this, great direction you're moving in Chris
conquistador [posted during evaluation]
Score: +0
yeah i see what you mean by the three rejects without comments. same thing happened to me right around the same time.
Anyway, i wont say this is one of the best songs ive ever heard, but its nice and upbeat and the guitar is pretty cool. Im using headphones though and it sounds like youre yelling at me. maybe i should just turn it down but i listens at full blast at all times baby.
damn this thing just keeps going. way to switch up the right hand attack throughout the song. unless you are left handed.
yunquekabal [posted during evaluation]
Score: +0
this is #@&%!ing badass. i love the lyrics, the rhythm, the contrast. very powerful. man, this is one of the best songs I've ever heard
IrREGULAR ELEPHAnT [posted during evaluation]
Score: +0
Always busting your balls. Your vocal pitch is really getting good. Too bad about the clipping levels. The guitar is manic excellence. Cool lyrics. This is an entertaining song that keeps me around till the end.
NathanWayne [posted during evaluation]
Score: +0
wow
THENAKEDBEACH [posted during evaluation]
Score: +0
snake handling wedding song. LA retro fun. good words for hobo train ride home
Its clipping!

Oh well, I'll do it better later.

Dad, I want a candy
I don't care where you get it from
I want it all, not just one

Mom drive here, mom drive me there I wanna go to billys and I don't care
But I don't wanna ride my bike
When I go uphill my legs get tired.

Video games, video games, plug me into the video games
Spent all day, killed a million guys
And now the sun hurts my eyes

Job, job, get a job, job, make some money, job, job, job
I'll trade today for a dollar tomorrow
Until I'm old enough o borrow yeah!

Car, car, my first car, I'm 16 I want a car
I gotta know whats far far far
But I don't know whats in my back yard no

Party, Party, drink and smoke, college is one big joke
I don't know whatcha worried about
If I mess up dad will bail me out

Big tv, wanna big tv, to watch tv, wanna big tv
And I don't care who died to make
I bought a gun so you can't take it, boom

House house, giant house, and a ton of land for my giant house
Animals are strange to me so get rid of em all
And cut down the trees

But I don't like to pay the taxes, its too much like hsaring with everyone
I don't have enough to live like a god
Until then, I'm not done
I want it all in a shopping mall
In the shape of a gun

Property things and companies, money and prosperity, all the things that matter to me, human devices set me free
I had some kids and I made em tough
And when they misbehave I give em stuff

Shirt and tie, lie lie lie, to the top big in the sky
Someone's starving and I don't mind,
Get em a job on the assembly line

Poor, poor your so poor if i could I'd help you more
So I put a dish of milk at my back door
Now kiss my feet and adore me

Church, church, big white church
Save my soul in the big white church
I'm gunna go to heaven in a rocket
I paid so much, gods in my pocket yeah.

Red, white blue is stuck like glue
To americans like me and you
No one's sure quite what to do
So we half-assed do what they tell us to

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