The Short Bus

weird, i #@&%!ed that bus etc..

http://www.flickr.com/photos/richieisaacs/4800897896/
There ya go :o)

I'm reall too I just wanted to make you feel better Monkeh

doh!

I'm not acting...

actually I think most of the acts and crits here are shortbus- including QC and the Buyer in all honesty- we at least act retarded on the site

musicians and rockstars rule and they are the pedigree of shortbus

The Short Bus Rules ok, is where the guys who play more notes than is required in a song and have poodle perms hang out.
Pass me the spandex, I feel nostalgia coming on.

then I shall remain at the back of the bus. it is #@&%!ing hot back here though

fudbuck

Naw, just some guy in a dress.

there's AC???? #@&%!!!! Sputnikov and I need to move from the back...closer to the front of the bus.....it's #@&%!ing hot back here.....plus nobody is listening to our rants....any good looking chicks up there near the front?

the airconditioned Short Bus instead of the fetid Reject meatwagon

Bump

Mmm...braked chicken...

I brake for chickens.

:) Raaaawr

And Tofu, don't forget Tofu...room for Meowists as well.

Taoists, Maoists, Nudists...all are welcome.

wow this is getting a little Taoist here. I guess we've attracted a couple smart fellers, or do I mean fart smellers?

sensitivity should never get in the way of truth for the critics.

sensitivity should never get in the way of truth for the critics.

heheheh, nice one CF!

I think it was a stupid idea to get rid of the rejects category to start......keep the rejects section just tell the critics to show a little sensitivity when making judgements.....

I think it is a dumb category name......do you have a band Buyer?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=noot

More speed bumps!

whats a noot?

I got better.

Indeed it is, I caught the black plague on the short bus.

yep....the Short Bus started right here. It's now part of legend.

LOL

okay, I've been waiting at the busstop for a few days now...my nose is runny and I don't have any tissues. my sleeve is already hardened so I can't use it anymore. I haven't moved and can't feel my legs-(I've actually forgotten if I'm supposed to be able to.) When is that short bus coming around? Did someone mislead me again, just to get a laugh? Look guys, have a little mercy! I'm "special," remember?

And they trippily tripped merrily along

tin foil keeps the government from sending you thoughts. Everyone should have some. It also stops alien abductions, especially the evile greys.

yeah- who could pass up a chance to use citizens and denizens in the same couplet? I'm laughing my ass off at this description. Just don't forgat that 'spaz has a tin-foil antenae attached to his lawn chair, and a tin foil hat...I am without such ecoutrement at present.

Actually a song is sorta in the works

I think I feel a short story coming here

The Buyer makes periodic stops at places like Stuckeys, jumping out and grabbing folks telling them "I am your father". A large speaker sits on the roof ( away from the satellite dish) repeating the words "Nationwide...where are you?" over and over. Meanwhile the guy that wrote the Socks song is standing back at the bus stopsaying "There's a Short Bus?"

nah...only the "special" ones get on the Short Bus

ha!, very good babar.
yeah, i'm thinking the whole of red fizz is "the short bus."

The members of Meat Machine II run along side the bus trying to let the air out of the tires, laughing hysterically. Disney is on vacation, but can be reached via the satellite hookup installed next to Unklespaz and Paulines plastic beach chairs on the roof.

The horn on the bus is broken so Singme is strapped to the hood, doing an awesome job of keeping other vehicles out of the way. Blasto and Jamsmith have stowed away under the bus in the luggage compartment. Everyone else knows they are there, but keeps quiet about it. A big banner is taped to the side of the bus that reads GUS WATKINS.

I can totally imagine it and 1/2 way see it happening in real life. Good call amigo.

I'm getting this mental image of this bus that is a cross between the Merry Prankster's bus Further and the Magic School Bus. The Buyer is in the driver's seat and he is a strange cross between Neal Cassidy and Ms. Frizzle, but sounds like Darth Vader when he speaks. Unklespaz and Pauline are riding on top of the bus causing mayhem to the citizens on the streets, occasionally dropping down to check in on the other denizens riding the bus and sit around the hookah. Aaron sits up front near The Buyer regaling him with fantastic stories of unknown origin. The Buyer doesn't really give a #@&%! and every once in a while threatens Aaron with the Darth Vader death grip. IE spends most of his time on his skateboard tied to a rope behind the bus, yelling for more speed bumps. PM, Balcerebon, Poolhouse, QC, and That Guy from ELO sit in the middle of the bus wondering how the hell they got talked in to getting on the bus, but seemingly enjoying the ride just the same. WillB is attempting to snag passerbys with his fishing rig and passing out cold bottles of Three Philosophers Ale to everyone. Sputnikov and Babar sit way in the back acting like wise old sages, spewing words of wisdom which none of the other riders take seriously. The stereo system is permanently stuck playing a Pauline Trouble tune, but no one seems to notice, as the hookah is used frequently.

police chases on foot are fun, if it's night time. Running from a heli is much easier than you think too.

I've seen chases go wrong as well, and that aint pretty but just sayin
is there a hangin to tend to?

or some "posters"....

or we could hang some "posers!" THAT'D be FUN!

that would be hang some posters

We need to get one of those multi-hose hookahs. I figure we can set up a small section on the bus where we can throw down some pillows, hand some Bob Marley posters and...

That sounds great. I just hope no-one calls the cops on us...I'd really like to ride the big wheels on the roof, at least until one of us falls off...

I'm brining everything I shoplifted, we can drink crazyhorse malt liquor and ride around on some bigwheels and tri cycles I lifted from this little kid's yard. We can do some vandalism after that.

Let's huff some paint thinner on the roof until we can't stand up. Ha ha.

Okay, when will our nice little special bus be ready? I want to throw a log on the fire...Anyone else want to throw a log? Meet me behind the K-Mart tonight at 9:00-Snap! Oh, no I did'int! Oh yes, I did! No, that was one of my "alters." I'll go ahead and use that DPD defense-I can get away with saying so much more...Cool. This is gonna be fun!

it's cool either way, I just gasped when I saw the hacked blogs. Darn Nigerians. Probably have no idea what they did or who they're doing it to. I mean she's an international star. Like you have to search blogs to find free porn

yeah-I don't mean the nice Egyptian girl- But the dirty filthy slimey whores and sluts who left their calling cards...their kinda like the sluts who's invitations to "meet(them) behind K-Mart tonight!" pile up in my yahoo junkmail- "You can #@&%! some hot sleazy horney sluts tonight!'( No freakin' kidding! I'm pretty sure anyone with five dollars can...) Maybe I should show up behind the K-Mart some night and start showing my has-been's picture around and asking questions...haha!

or do you mean the blog? crazy huh?

huh what? she's super talented!

arabs don't get crabs they get hkrotcheech-allises

get those crab-infested sluts offa our thread! We don't need no damn whores...I'm wondering why they seemed "appropriate?!" We're SPECIAL-We don't need no damn slutty whores. We get plenty of action. When (and if) we want to...

Teria if you're out there, check this out
http://www.myspace.com/natachaatlas
the lady reminds me of you or vise versa
http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=21552465

this hacked blog seems appropriate to put in the short bus thread

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=191609951

holy crap man, no bueno for Natacha Atlas!
oh well

Yes, Babar is a tall chap-Should have seen him the times I had to give him a ride in my Vega...haha! I'll need an aide too-Preferably one named Sven-He can help me with my strap-ons---Uh, I mean, with getting my straps on...haha. And with making sure I don't roll off the lift...

If possible I would like a spot on the bus with a bit of leg room. Aside from being a tall chap, I have a tendency to flail about a bit and I don't wish to cause any injuries to anyone. I might also need an aide...preferably named Inga.

ELO is welcome to sit by me on the bus.
And PT, riding on the bus for special people is not an option. We're just not like the other kids.

hmm, i get you buyer, i think we used to talk about doing that with chat, right, that we'd just upload a song into chat in order to get instant feedback... perhaps the rule of short bus is that if you put the song there, it won't go into battle, or go into feature, etc... it'll just get reviews... it's a bypass the system system, and if you want accolades and stars and all that #@&%!, and features, you got to go through the battle, resubmitting if necessary. perhaps then everyone will wind up in the shortbus, the site will be renamed www.shortbus.com and #@&%! the battles.

Hey, I was always good at writing notes from "moms." Kids in high school used to have me do that all the time...Who needs a note? 'cept now, I've got a fancy piece of paper that sez I can do it real good, so I'll have to charge...two dollars per note! I'll be rich in no time!

Ya'll are so gross!!!

The Depends are to catch the songs as they come out of my butt, the bib is to catch the drool that's just always dripping from the corners of my mouth...We ride the short bus! Yay!

spaz always wants to Revolt
i'm still ready
but you guys will probably kick me off the short bus too.
i don't care, i just like the fact that at least one of you, maybe, listened to one of my songs all the way through without depends or a bib.

all that depends? har har, now I have a mental image of a melted snickers bar in a diaper, thank you very much.

on a serious note maybe you could test out of the short bus area? get a note from mom that you don't belong or a subpeona? There have to be other conscientious objectors and draft dodgers as well! Revolt

you don't want to know.

Depends and a bib?????

I consider myself honored to be included...wait, there's a song coming out of my butt right now as a matter of fact- yeah-we'll see what you guys have to say about it later though; I gotta clean it up a little first...I probably should get some Depends...and a bib...

in the name of viral marketing and all that's good for the site I'm automatically voting against regulars unless you write a good song from now on. No offense if you see your songs loosing in battle from now on friends.

you're funny

jeez. try to be funny and make a ton of spelling and syntax errors. no wonder i never made it as a comedy writer.

hmmm... sounds dumb. but if you and spazzy feel like you need a place to hang out, well then, by all means! you should embrace you similarities are form a clique! just the "in" crowd (if you get my meaning!), eh? Eh? Say no more, guvnor!

but you have to be "in" to do it. you dig?

i'm talking about being able to pull a song out of your ass, record it in an hour, post it and not have to see it in the Reject section. this is not a veiled insult.

hey, it's also a special section, hey a critics corner could get you just as much attention as the 2nd or reject thing. There's a lot of love, nothin wrong with havin our special section for the clique that hangs here.

Hey, I post stuff here. Obviously I don't really care where my stuff ends up either; I was just asking out of curiosity...Like, is the Short Bus thing going to be a seperate area, and only those forementioned artists would be kicked over there? Can one improve their way out of it eventually if the quality and consistancy of their songs improves substantially? Or will some be, in effect, "punished" for being prolific songwriters forever even if their direction and quality improves exponentially? There's a crapload of semi-regulars who belong on the bus with us, as I see it...Ah, whatev-I'm on board. Can I wear my special beanie?

And Aaron, Babar, PM, with talent like yours, you should be #@&%!in' collecting royalties by now... Look at the crap out there that's being consumed by the masses...Goodnight! I'm going to bed!

Class: (virtual_high_five):
Insert_slap

yeah, i don't care where mine is either, it's just nice to know that someone listened, and enjoyed, or didn't, either way...

I agree with unkle here. Frankly I don't give a #@&%! where any of my stuff ends up. Yes it's very cool and an honor to be a feature, but for me it's more about sharing the music with you knuckleheads. Buckle up every one, The Buyer is driving....oh #@&%!.

show some skin haw haw

I mean I pulled up the battle tab and there you both were.

Look, we all know each other, all the regulars, and we know our sound, but it would allow new bands to get some attention, and share the love. I think that we should expand the club beyond it's current 7 members.
Let others get the main stages.

funny, I was going to battle and it was Aaron up against you? Speak of the Devil

So. Gods forbid Aaron, PM, Babar, Will B, Balcerebon and I all have songs under consideration at the same time every once in a while....Would there be a "featured" song selected amongst us, second stage, and reject? Or would we all be considered equals in our own little world? And what about the sub-par but talented and promising other artists who frequent the place on a regular off and on basis? Where will this end? I can actually think of a few who post material with worse sound quality than my stuff who are semi-regulars...

please enjoy your stay.

yeah, it started out sounding all beauty and light, but then it's true evil nature was revealed. get the squatters out of the main thoroughfare so the visitors will only see the shiny clean buildings. do not attempt to engage the squatters in any way and, of course, photography is strictly forbidden. if you are caught taking pictures of anything besides the imperial palace, your camera will be confiscated.

If this plan ends up taking a dark turn, I would first like my wishes to be known...I would like to be made into a lampshade so 1) I can finally show some skin around here and 2) so that I may be as a beakon of strange yellowish light to others who will come afterwards...

Sorry if that was entirely in bad taste and offensive to some, but I'm just following on a line of thought started by QC and Buyer...("They started it!")

that second to last sentence should be murdered - this is a more constructive *deal that will* - i mean

ya, they *are* the community at the moment and i think it's daunting for new people to show up and wonder what the deal here is. no fences, no guards, lunatics running around with sharp objects and dropping peavy amplifiers on the concrete to get that electric PwanG sound.
i think it would make a good buffer between longtime recluse bands like Down Home Southernaries and Dale Vernon who like to put up songs but don't like to talk and the more social drunk-huggers like unKlesam and the PosthumousM dude who came for the commentary but stayed for the chili.
it's not like the times i went to the beach and dug little thunderdomes for mini crabs to fight in (two crabs enter, no crab leaves) this is a more constructive would be that will either grow or die depending on the people who identify with the Short Bus scene and how they treat it. but if we're gassing people after i guess i'm cool with that as long as we Podcast it.

I really like the idea

(or is this all part of your dastardly plan to first create a ghetto for them, followed by concentration camps and extermination?)

but the shortbus artists do fine in battles. they're practically the whole community, after all.

I got dibbs on the wheel-chair with special straps!

NICE

here here....where where.....there there
I second the Short Bus idea.
I'll even wear a football helmet.

You guys that have been here for a long time without carrying on like grotesque artifacts of humanity on display in the museum of modern turds - aaron, posthumous, trouble, babar, willB, et all - are doing something different than I ever expected. There are collaborations, grassroots boozemups, mild online counseling sessions, and all kinds of other stuff that goes a step beyond internet friends . I think the Groups feature was a step in the right direction but turned out to useless because it was too labour intensive and most of the regular visitors just posted everything in the main channel anyway. My point is, the community here is strong and strange and growing and that's a good thing.

I think it's time for the core group of musicians that come here and support each other had a place to call home instead of the Rejects section. I suggest a new, fourth section called The Short Bus where our homegrown talent can have their songs see the light of day if they don't win the Battle and get Featured; this is an important point - Short Bus artists should still be able to win the Battle and be Featured but if they don't win they ride in the airconditioned Short Bus instead of the fetid Reject meatwagon.